random thoughts

It’s been a really long year 2025 has been. I am filled with gratitude for all the events that occurred within the year, both good and bad, I am grateful for them all.

As I am going to the new year, I am struggling with whole lot of different feelings. It has been weighing a lot on me, I do not know how to handle them, so, I thought I’d try writing them out, you know, make it visible, take those thoughts out of my head.

Scrolling through X, I came across this tweet by Andrej Karpathy. That post conveyed a whole lot that have been going on in the industry and the main part or headline of it all that stuck with me was “I’ve never felt this much behind”. That feeling is what I have been struggling with, I always feel behind a lot and often have these feeling I have to play catch up with a lot of really smart people I have seen. It’s always constant every year for me and It is a feeling I am trying to beat or at least learn how to live with.

There’s too much to learn, there’s a new AI coding agent or an updated model that can build entire backends, there’s a new IDE that codes when you feed it natural language or your well documented spec-driven markdown files. It is all too much too keep up, Writing this rant post made me realize, I am hit with the case of FOMO (Fear of missing out). It most times put me in the ditch of finding out, I would have been better off not even chasing after this curiosity in the first place. For example, I have tried vibe coding multiple times after falling for the hype, It wrote a buggy code that IT could not fix and that’s where it ended, I realize it was not a sustainable way for building software, it is way more useful for smaller manageable tasks.

For my new year, I don’t have big plans, I am just looking forward to doing my own thing and focus on things that matters and hopefully, I get pass this feeling.

This is a bunch of nonsense string together and I truly appreciate and applaud you for reading up to the end, you’re a special one.